Highlands Ranch Ward Podcast
The Highlands Ranch Ward is a sharing of spiritual experiences, family history and inspiring Christian principles. The goal of the podcast is to help our members get to know each other better as well as inspire people to draw closer to Jesus Christ through prayer, scripture study, family history and living the principles Jesus taught.
Highlands Ranch Ward Podcast
Cathy Ray
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Claire Stucki interviews Cathy Ray about her spiritual journey and other great topics.
Hi everyone, welcome to the Highlands Ranch Ward Podcast. Thank you so much for taking the time to tune in and listen. This is Claire Stukey. I'm your host today. Today I will be interviewing Kathy Ray. She's an amazing member of our ward. Kathy, thank you so much for joining us today. Thanks for inviting me. Of course. Okay, with our first question, I'm just gonna ask Um, how did you convert to the gospel?
SPEAKER_00I, you know, I think about this all the time. I love all these people, these amazing stories. And then this happened and I knew it was true. But I didn't really have that. Um I think I've known it my whole life. Um, it started when I was really young because my parents were really uh diligent and they lived the gospel fully every day. Um, they were all in, they didn't complain about the time the church took or anything. And we just they bore their testimonies um formally and informally, and they shared the joy of the gospel that they had with us. My brother's eight years older, and my sister is six years older, and they loved the gospel too. And we were taught, you know, just to be kind and to love each other. And um, I think I just grew up having a testimony. Um, but I don't ever think I thought, is it true? But then I remember thinking, what if it's not true? So then I thought I better put some effort into it. And um so I did, I prayed to get my own witness, and I I just noticed those feelings, you know, the same feelings that I'd had my whole life came back and just strengthened that. And so um I just love the feeling I have when I talk about the gospel and I pray. And how could it not be true? So um, and you know, that happened like today, it's a reaffirmation that it's true, and so we can every day have our testimony strengthened, and that's such a joy to me. Um, so I feel like I'm really a lifelong member with a testimony, and you do need to foster it, but um, I think it comes really naturally when you are doing things the gospel teaches you, and I'm so grateful for that. Um, I had the privilege of going to Nauvoo a few weeks ago with my friends, and um, you know, you're right there where Joseph Smith lived, and you see the things and um you know it's true, and you just feel, you know, you know, Joseph Smith was a prophet. He saw the things he saw, and he didn't deny them, and that has been my biggest fear, I think, my whole life is that I will tower when something happens, and I won't have the strength that Joseph Smith had to be willing to die for the church, and then not that I want to die for the church, that's not what I would say, but I want to be that kind of person who doesn't waver and just stands firm to the end and stands by Christ and is a disciple of him my whole life. I wanted that's what I want to be known for being a disciple of Christ.
SPEAKER_02That's amazing, Kathy. I can tell you that I am the exact same way. I feel like I have believed and I have not questioned my entire life. Like it's just it's something that is just always within you, and you just you just don't question it at all. You're like you just and as you get older, and then like you know, just like recently going through the temple, like I've been realizing like like I feel like a lot of that is just like from the premortal life, like it's just your soul telling you like you already know this, like you you've already been so strong in it, and it just like it's like why have I never questioned this? It's just because you already like know it and you've come to earth like so ready and prepared. And just like from talking to you for the past like what is it, like five minutes, I can tell that you would, Kathy. You would still I know you would. Well, let's hope I don't have to try it, but I know I'm like, let's hope there's no like situation or but you know, even just like small, like defending the church from like just when people ask questions, like things like that, are just are are just like how we um defend our faith, and that's amazing. Um, okay, with our next question is what is a favorite family history story that inspires you?
SPEAKER_00Okay, so this is on my dad's side. So it's my grandfather, his name's Hubert Samuel Gill, and he was born in 1900, and that sounds like a really long time in London, England. And so he had three older sisters, but one of them had already passed away. Um, and when he was 12, his dad died suddenly, and so they went from being this comfortable family to really be a needy family, and her parents had died who lived there. So the only person she knew was um that she could get help from was her sister, who had already lived moved to Canada with her husband. And so um at that time, women were not allowed to travel without a man for safety and other reasons, and she didn't have a man, 12-year-olds don't generally count, and so um her sister had sent um a message to um elder Joseph Smith Lowe, who was from her area but was serving um his mission in Europe, and he was completing it, and so they arranged for him to come to London and pick them up and then take them by ship to um across the Atlantic, and then they went up the St. Lawrence River to Montreal, and then they traveled by railroad to get to Lethbridge, and then a horse-drawn wagon to get to Cardston, Canada. So I love so think of this 12-year-old. Okay, now I'm trying to think of a 12-year-old in then versus now, but you're I mean, his world couldn't have been that big. I mean, maybe, but you know, that's quite uh an experience to do all of those things. So this missionary, they were not members, and so he had this time um with Joseph Smith Lowe, which do you love his name, Joseph Smith Lowe. And um when he when he finally got to Canada, it was a little while later that he decided to join the church, and that's who baptized him was that missionary. And um, as you are going out on a mission, you just never know who you will impact, you know. And so um I just think of this mom taking her son and going, that scares me, you know, going the ships were not what they are now, and ships still sink, but you know, just it wasn't an easy path. And that he did that and went with his mom and had this experience. And then he was a great member of the church. He served a mission with his wife and my grandma, who was my grandma. And I just love you know, faith. You just have to exercise faith, and we do hard things, but really the hard things are what make us who we are, and so we don't really want an easy life, although Lord, don't hear me say that, but but that's who makes us, and it helps us become who we need to be. So I love that about my grandpa.
SPEAKER_02That's amazing. I love that, and I love what you said about you know, like missionaries, like we don't we don't realize like who is being prepared to meet us and who needs us until we get there, and we're like, wow, like this person has been preparing to meet me for like the last like couple years or a couple months, like while I was, you know, in school and doing whatever, this person was like preparing to meet me, and that's just amazing. Where like sometimes you just I'm sure like on the mission, I'll feel like this person like needed to hear me, like the way that I tell the gospel and I teach it, they needed to hear me, and that's that's amazing, and just like some people uh like will only hear the gospel the way you uh can teach it and the way that you have to say it, and that's so amazing. I love that story. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00The Lord is just working so many pieces together, you know, to always in the wrong right place at the right time, yes. So we do have a little pressure, we have to follow the spirit and do it.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_00But it's you know, it's a very big picture, and thankfully he's in charge.
SPEAKER_02Totally. Oh, it's so cool to think about, but yeah, all right. Our next question is what is a favorite scripture story that of yours and why?
SPEAKER_00Okay, so I was trying to think of that, um, and I thought, well, I could do Esther, but I'm like, we just did that. I went through women, I love women's stories in the scripture just because like I relate to men, but women women are different, we have different jobs, and um so I went to Soraya, and um that was a hard journey. Um, you know, she was Lehi's wife, and he's the prophet. People want to kill him. That's a good one, that's easy. And then Nephi is the son, obviously, and Layman and Lemuel and Sam, and they have to go and try to get the plates, and they get almost are killed, and then and then Nephi has to kill somebody, and there's all these things. Can you imagine that? Like, download at the end of the night. Hey, how was your day? I mean, that's what happened.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh, yes.
SPEAKER_00And and the mom having the faith and courage to let them go. I will go and do the things the Lord commands. Um, I just think she must have taught them, even if some had forgotten, but Nephi knew the right things to do, Sam knew, and others, others know the truth and what they should do. But it you know, it goes on and on and made a little list. So, and then she her home is gone, she has to move. She had gold and silver gone. Um, their lives are in danger. Well, partly because of the brothers. I mean, that and how does that feel as the mom? Um, let's see. They um traveling for years, they don't know where they're going, and I don't want to camp forever, so that sounds hard to me. Her oh, her spouse dies, they're always fighting, building a boat. Like, I know they're inspired, and they're prophets, but still getting on the boat that you made. Like, I don't know that I would get on my boat. So, um, the storms, all the things. So I just love that she led with faith. And I know there were hard times, but she had to keep going. She was the matriarch, and of course, there were other people around, but she stood firm, and she still did her best. I mean, her family was divided, and I can't imagine that. Gratefully, I haven't had that experience, but I know how painful that is, and um so I just love that she stood by the Lord, did what he wanted, what he needed her to do, and she did her best, and I appreciate her example.
SPEAKER_02Yes, that's an amazing one. I feel like we do often overlook Soraya because the story isn't really about her, and it's she's just uh key, I guess, like side character that we would say. But the more you like think about her, like, oh my gosh, her job as as the mother would have been so hard. And like you said, like letting them go, like, I can't imagine like how she must have felt, like letting them go back to go get the plates from Laban. She's like, My sons could not come back, like there's a possibility that they might not come back, and just the amount of like faith she had to exercise with that, like oh, and that had to must have been so frustrating, like watching her her sons fight all the time, like just stop fighting, like, oh my gosh, like I can just see her, like boys, stop! Like, it's enough. Oh my gosh, like I just I can't even imagine how stressful that would have been for her. But like she just I know she just um exercised so much faith and just faith in her um in the Lord and faith in um Lehi and and her sons. And she's just amazing, like just what a great um example of a mother, like just showing so much bravery. So cool. And I also think like uh like just Nepha's story specifically makes me think a lot about like uh like a TV reality show, like like just the way it's told.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, I'm not gonna lie, this is kind of a joke. Like just like the like the back and forth and like the fighting all the time. Like I can just see like like the side interviews, you know, like in the office. Like I can just see Saraya like in the like slide interviews, like I can't take this anymore. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00Um maybe after your mission you could make it.
SPEAKER_01That would be oh, that would be funny. That would be really funny.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, it could be a good skit you could do for a family home evening activity.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, that would be awesome, or maybe as a missionary, you guys could do that.
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I did out, yes. That would be awesome.
SPEAKER_02Um, okay, so for our next question, it is what is a time that you've struggled with something in your life and you felt Christ walking with you in that trial.
SPEAKER_00You know, I think life, if you live long enough, there's several times, but there are times when I had to handle things um alone for a while. And we had six kids and my family and Darren was doing all he could, but I was really carrying the brunt of it, the weight of trying to, you know, just manage everything, have it all going smoothly. And um you can, it's hard. I mean, it's hard with a spouse, you know, there all the time. And you know, it's like traveling, you know, when your spouse is traveling, but um the only way that I've made it through hard times is when you rely on the Lord, like you rely on family and you rely on the natural man and those things, but they can only go so far, and so when you turn things over to the Lord and plead with him and ask for help for your mental health, for just to have the stamina to get through the day, to be patient with your kids, to be everywhere you have to be, uh you know, at the same time, there's a lot, and just what do I need to teach my kids today? How do I need to interact with them? What do I need to do to help us get through this? And the Lord blesses you so much, and he has carried me many times in my life because I know I couldn't do it myself. So, again, do I love challengers? No, childs are not my favorite, but I wouldn't trade the relationship I have with him for anything. So I'm super grateful for that.
SPEAKER_02That's amazing, and just like I'm sure we can all attest just looking at our own moms, and as you get the older you get, you're just like, Wow, like how did my mom do that? Like, I know as a kid, you're just like, Oh, I want this, I want that. Why can't my mom do this? And then, like, you get older and you're like, Oh my gosh, how did she do all of that? Like, and just like mothers in general, like, like you just think about it, it's like the hardest job in the entire world, like, genuinely, like it's being a mother is the hardest job, and uh, it just it wouldn't be possible without Christ. Like, I think Christ is uh present with everyone, but I think he's especially present with mothers, like he just I think uh he just has a special place in his heart for mothers, like and you see, like, even in the scriptures, he meant he like just he talks about his mother Mary so much. Like, I feel like he just didn't really mention um like Joseph as much as he did Mary, like he just talked about Mary so much, and you can tell he just loved his mother so much. And I just think that's so cool, like that you just notice that that it's like I really could not have gone through the day without him, and and just that you would think to ask for that help, and like I think that's just the first step is asking for that help. So that's amazing.
SPEAKER_00Well, he is always there, and we have to ask, and I know people say that sometimes they don't feel him, and and I'm sure that has happened to me sometimes, but I've had so many really powerful experiences that I probably just blame it on myself. Oh, I must not be in the right place or something, but I just think we can't give up on the Lord because he is there and he wants to be there and supports us. I mean, that's all he wants is to have us back, he's doing everything he can, and but he is where we need to turn.
SPEAKER_02So totally that's amazing. Um our next question is what do you love most about our ward?
SPEAKER_00Well, I love this question, and I feel like we've just talked about it as a ward now. I just feel like we're at a new level, and I um I the last few years, I just feel like we've really, and maybe I'm the last one to the boat. Like I always thought it was good, I never thought it was bad, but I just feel like we're so united in purpose, and we're truly a ward family, and we want to help each other through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. I don't feel like there's judgment. I think it's a really safe place to be who you are, and people just want to help you through it. Um, I think it brings joy to my Sabbath to be there. I look forward to seeing everyone and like I would do anything for everyone. I obviously don't know what people need, but I think that's how people are. Oh, what do they need? I'll be glad to help. I mean, we'll do whatever we can, even if that's just praying. Guess what? That's super helpful and important. So um, but I also love what Bishop Stukey, that dad of yours, has introduced with our sacrament meetings. I treasure those times, and um I just love what it's done, and it um I just think it's brought everyone more together and people participate more. Well, because lots of people can speak every week. And um, I just love that. I think it's really blessed our ward and brought the spirit into our lives and just brought us closer. So I am thrilled to be a member of our ward.
SPEAKER_02Oh, totally. And I was gonna ask you a follow-up question, but I feel as though you already answered it. But I was gonna ask, what do you think? Like you mentioned in the last couple of years, you feel like our ward has kind of went from like good, better, best. Like you feel like our ward has just kind of elevated, and like what do you think has made it that way? But is it do you think that sacrament meeting is probably the key player of that?
SPEAKER_00Um I think that's definitely helped. I hear people talking about that, and I feel like it was even the last few years, so it's not just that. So maybe this is me. I should ask a million people what they think, but I and maybe as we've gotten to know each other and we have different callings, and I was just in the relief society presidency, and so callings, you know more of what's happening. Maybe I'm not sure. So maybe I'm the only one, but I just I just feel like people there's people are smiling, they're talking to everyone, and it seems more friendly to me. Yeah, so as a youth, I don't know. Do you feel that? I mean, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yeah, I totally feel that. I mean, I like I haven't really been like there in young woman in a while, but it's just young woman and Sunday school. I've just always been such a an amazing place to go. And like you said, like I'm excited to go to church. Like, I'm excited to see the sacrament and excited to see like what the lesson is and like all this stuff, and that we've made more, we've just made more changes to making church more um I guess like efficient. And like let's like like it's so fun to like talk like after sacrament meeting, but let's try and get to classes as soon as we can to have time for the lessons. Like just tiny changes like that are like are just like just making more time to feel the spirit, just like small changes I feel like that have just Really like brought the spirit so much more. And so yeah.
SPEAKER_00I agree with that. I was also gonna say I do love the young women standing at the doors. I think that's fun just because I don't always see them. And so I just think that's fun to see.
SPEAKER_02Yes, totally. Just small changes like that are just really make the difference. It's amazing. Yeah, okay. Our next question is what is a recent time that you felt the spirit, and how do you recognize the spirit is with you?
SPEAKER_00Okay. So I was trying to think of that. I thought, when have I had a really big experience with the spirit? When did I, you know, like take your breath away? And I have had some of those, but mostly recently, um, I've been trying. This has been a rough couple of years for me with a lot of responsibilities with family and myself just not being my best, just drained. I think I'm trying to like reboot. But so I have been trying to pray in the mornings and asking, where do you need me today? What do you need me to reach out to someone? What do I need to do? What is most needful? Can I make a difference in someone's life? And so most days I get a prompting of something it can be to call somebody, text somebody, drop something off, or it can just be, oh, you need to focus on this in your scriptures or this part or something. So they're not, you know, big flashing lights with the spirit, but I do feel his guiding power, you know. I mean, I feel like every day I feel uh promptings, but you know, I'll get an answer to that. What do you need me to do today? And I'm grateful for that. Um it well, it gives me purpose. And I think so often in our lives we can get so focused on ourselves. Now, again, if you're a mom, not that dads don't have things they have to do, but as a mom, you're taking care of all your people and you tend to have to meet their needs unless they're big, you have a lot more responsibility. But um, I think it's good if we stop focusing ourselves and focus outwards, and that makes us happier when we're not just focused on us. And so I think that's a blessing, is with the gospel, we are a church of service, and I think that that's such a healthy way to be, and it blesses everyone's life, it blesses the person that you're serving, and it blesses you as the server. And so I am grateful for just the daily small feelings, promptings I get from the Holy Ghost. It, you know, it just blesses my life and guides me every day.
SPEAKER_02That's amazing. That's such a great, like, you know, like we said, like a small change to your day. It's not like if you don't pray, then you're not gonna get promptings, but it just makes it, it just brings more purpose into your day and strengthens uh that connection with Christ. Like every time you pray, I feel like you're just kind of strengthening this uh bridge you have between you and Christ. And it makes it easier for a stronger bridge for you to rot walk across and trust him and he trusts you. And it's just it's just like such a great gift that we have to pray. And um I actually want to shout out Dean, uh Dean Um Burgham. I remember him saying this at Trek that he um that prayer has become such just like a like it's just part of his thought process now. Like he's just I don't I don't know if he still does this, but um I remember him saying that he just prays like like like all the time, every day. He just always like kind of just feels like he's talking to Christ and just like like Christ, please keep me safe. Christ, like help me to know what to do, help me to remember to do this, like things like that. I'm like, wow, that's just such a great way to think of it. Cause I feel like sometimes we think of prayer as just like a routine thing that we only do, you know, before sacrament meeting, after sacrament meeting, before we have a meal. But it's like prayer is something that uh we don't need to be with other people, we don't need to be somewhere special. It's it's so special because we it just can happen in our own mind. We can just have a prayer in our heart, and I think that's just such an amazing gift. We don't need anything, we just need ourselves and our own thoughts to pray, which is really cool. Thank you for sharing that.
SPEAKER_00And it doesn't have to be formal, yeah. Just like you know, just I think it used to be like that. I don't know if in the church, but I know in the world it has to be a formal thing sometimes. It's just your relationship with with your savior, and you can just talk to him anytime. And that's what a peaceful thing that is, and just a blessing that we know. I can't imagine not having that.
SPEAKER_02This would be way, yes, totally, I totally agree. That's amazing. Thank you. Okay, our last question is if you could go 100 years in the future and talk to your posterity, what advice would you give them?
SPEAKER_00Okay, so I thought about this for a while, and I had this great long list. Perfect. You should do this, you should do this. This is what I wish I would have done. And then I thought, all right, really, that's not a great list. So sort of the same. I came up with just like three. Um one, well, stay close to the Lord because if you're staying close to the Lord, it's gonna be okay. Bad things can happen, but you're on the plan, you're on the Lord knows what's happening, and you can make it through. But He tells you to do. Um, be all in in the gospel, which again is sort of the same thing, but here it really is. We have callings, we have responsibilities, we you know, show up. Are you prepared? Are you, you know, are you being a good friend? Are you what are you doing to be all in in the gospel and help everyone else be all in, want to be there? How are you serving? What are you doing? So, and I think you have the greatest joy when you are all in. Um, and then I put re repent daily, which again is sort of being all in, but when you're doing that, it's hard to get off track, like you can't get that far off if you're doing it every day. So, and then family first, and I the then I said maybe it should be second, because really the Lord, the gospel's first, but your family is part of that. But um, I just think family, especially right now, there's this thing happening where you're just you know you're moving away from your parents, and you know, I just think it's really sad that so many families are failing and they just write them off. And I um I can't imagine that, so that's a very painful thing. Um, but stick with your family through the ups and downs because you're eternal. I mean, you can be eternal, I guess that you won't be if it's like that, but um, families are the greatest gift, and we're all doing the best we can, and that um to know that people on both sides of the veil are praying for you and you can do it. So that's what I would tell them.
SPEAKER_02So that's amazing. Those are great. I love the just the common theme is just like stay close to the things that are most important and just remember what's most important because we just get so sidetracked sometimes and think that you know, or whatever, like everything is more important than the gospel, but it's just that's what really will like you said, you really can't get that far off if you just continue to keep a prayer in your heart every day and just repent, and just thinking of repentance is more of like I know what I did wrong, and I'm choosing to follow you, and I'm choosing to come back to Christ. That's just that's really all repentance is, and that's so amazing. And yeah, I just I love all those, those are all great.
SPEAKER_00Change, repent is change, yes, and they can be such small little tweaks, but they can be a difference, and sometimes they're big, but yes, yes, but anyway, totally, totally just changing the small things really makes a difference.
SPEAKER_02That's amazing, yes. Well, thank you so much, Kathy, for joining us today. It was amazing to talk to you. This has been awesome.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. I've enjoyed it, and you do a great job at this point.